in my sparkly shoes...

Dum dum dum dum.....

2006-02-08T18:28:00.000-08:00

This past weekend, Beck and Derek got engaged. Its a bit of a surreal experience for the onlooker because its hard to believe we are at this "place". Its awesome. No doubt I am excited for Beck and know that they are right for one another. Still. Arent we 12 years old? It definitely doesn't feel like its real. When Michelle and Aaron got engaged we all had been expecting it since 9th grade, but I recall all 5 of us ( the P.T.'S) banding together to survive this one without one of us suffering from a meltdown. Then Amanda and Jay, it is exciting and scary to think my very first roomie, a roommate of 4 years will be a married woman this summer. There will definitely be some deep breaths to survive standing up in Aman's wedding without feeling some anxiety.

Its been exciting already, Beck walking around with this beautiful ring on her left hand, potentially making plans for what her wedding will be like. In the next year our apartment will turn into wedding central.

Every time I cash out in a grocery store I want to buy all the wedding magazines and spread them out on the living room floor.

Penis!

2006-01-20T18:46:00.000-08:00

Today I had another moment when I realized my life is just funny.

At Tops, for some reason, I had to squish and manuever myself into a weird ( and very gross) storage space in the back of the supermarket where they keep all the stuff i never want to use: garbage bags, strange smelling cleaners, dewey floors, old mops, etc... At this point of the night I was not in an awesome mood, people were pissing me off and I was ina smelly gross space thinking why why why is this my life. I have a college degree! Almost 2! And i am flinging my legs over cleaning machines and mops and walking through gross substances! WHY WHY WHY! Why is this my life? Then I found what i was looking for, grabbed it and as I turned to try to get myself out of this hole I saw on the wall, written very large and in dark drak marker the word PENIS.

I laughed outloud and thought: Yep, this is totally my life.

When was the last time you were paralyzed by fear, had your butt fall asleep, and cried in public all in the same building?

2006-01-08T19:25:00.000-08:00

Mine was yesterday. Saturday was girls day. I got out of work at noon so I headed to the mall with Jess and Beck for some much needed girly time and bra/panty shopping. We were later joined by Steph and Jeff to hang in the apartment to watch Save the Last Dance on TBS, and discuss past boyfriends and possible new "whatevers". Hee hee.

Then it was time to head to the movie theatre, none of us have ever attended- it was cute, it was artsy, it was the only place that was showing Brokeback Mountain in this entire city. We were standing in our pod circle of 5 in the entrance of the theatre just waiting with the rest of the people to get seated.

Thats when i involuntarily clutched Jess's arm, and got the omigod nobody move look on my face. I whispered " fmkdhgjfhdfkaj is here". Just as I was whispering, Steph noticed too. I think, SURPRISINGLY, we all handled the kfgjghfakfkj sighting pretty well since she freaks the living crap out of all 5 of us. 1 of us didnt even attend the same high school. We stood bundled together like it was a blizzard inside the theatre. We all diverted our eyes to the center of our pod. I saw her notice us and take two, yes really, two large stretched out steps back, and then it is all a blur. I may have blacked out standing up. All i know is that when i looked again, djshdjshfgjshfhjs was gone. Dodged a bullet. Ha literally!

Brokeback Mountain was exactly what we all needed. I love going to the movies knowing I will really like a movie and leave really liking the movie, which lately is rare.

I cried in my small , plastic seat. I am pretty sure most people in the theatre did. I heard sniffles! I almost cried again when we were disussing it in the car on the way home.

This morning when I was at work, preparing salads at an ungodly hour, i still felt a little sad. Pathetic? Yes. But what can i say: just a hopeless romantic.

P.S. aside from the sad, dramatic, touching aspect of Brokeback Mountain, I cannot leave out the fact that on top of being emotional, I am also extemely shallow and there are many many many hot scenes with Heath Ledger and Jake Gdjkshjfhdfhfgvhbfnbg. Many. Ok like basically like every scene they are in . The jeans, the cowboy hats, the swaggering...OMG.

A fork in the road

2006-01-06T19:12:00.000-08:00

Lately I have been sensing I need to get back some of my old habits to get back to "Amy" and I need to lose some habits I have adapted over the last year. Lately I have been thinking about where the next year will lead me and what changes will come about. I pretty much know it is impossible to try and tell the future, but I feel like I am at a turning point. This year I finish my Masters Degree which means I need to get a full time teaching job. Where will I go? Do i stay here and try to find a job? Will i find a job and happiness in another town or state? I wouldnt mind staying here by some friends and family and I also wouldnt mind moving somewhere new and excited. Yes the latter is more involved and would take more planning but is it worth it? Would a new place lead me to new happiness or would it mean running away from things here? Time will only tell I guess...

Helloooo 2006!

2006-01-01T19:08:00.000-08:00

Happy New Year!!

I cannot believe it has been one whole year since I was standing in the middle of Coles on Elmwood with 5 of my fabulous girls ringing in 2005. I was "5ish" lbs thinner, substitute teacher-tops deli worker extraordinare-tutor, graduate student, wishing I was with a boy who would definitely fit under the category of " he's just not that into you". Happy celebrating with the girls who mean everything to me.

Things have changed in so many ways since then. In many ways 2005 was a rollercoaster of emotions and happenings that were happy and sad, many doors closed and many opened.

In 2005 I learned a lot about myself. Some good and some bad. I learned a lot about other people as well. Some good and some bad.

As I rang in 2006 with three of those 5 fabulous friends and a new fabulous boyfriend, 5 -ish lbs heavier, still a substitute -deli- tutor- almost finished with my thesis in grad school extraordinare, who has retired the "hes just not that into you" book, I looked back on 2005 and I also looked forward to 2006. How would things change this year? Where would it bring me?

Sitting on the couch in a bar downtown, surrounded by rugby men and my friends, AND a wonderfully large plate of cheese cubes and veggies, I was happy to be sitting on that couch with my wonderful friends and boyfriend drinking champagne and excited for the beginging of a new year. Thats all a girl with sparkly shoes can ask for...

Hit and Run

2005-12-29T23:02:00.000-08:00

Last night I was a victim of a hit and run. A deer hit and run that is. The deer hit my drivers side back door and kept on running. Jess and I were driving merrily on our way home from watching "The Family Stone", on Transit Road we saw some deer on the side of the street, congregating, whatever...then BAM.

It all happened pretty fast and I pulled into a parking lot. Jess got out (I couldnt look first) to assess the damage. Not a scratch on my car, just a few stray hairs left behind on the window frame. Yikes. I may have cried a little bit when I got back in the car, when I saw the hair I felt some guilt and felt bad for the deer. But he OR she was a survivor, I can tell, and he OR she will live to tell the exciting story to their little Bambi's someday.

Jess comes home today!

2005-12-15T09:06:00.000-08:00

Jess comes home today and this excited me very much! I still havent gotten use to the fact that all my best friends cannot live in the same town as me, so all is right again when everyone is home(Anne comes home next Wednesday, then Moe on Friday). Whoo hoo! There will be much discussing boys, drinking trendy drinks in fun glasses, more discussing of boys, watching the hot new gay cowboy movie with the HOTTIES, eating chocolate, dancing around, and being our crazy girl-selves.

Here is the latest pic of Jess with her new semi, quasi, havent really decided yet-conquest of a boy.

Just a Wednesday Night

2005-12-14T18:58:00.000-08:00

" Heaven to me is a simple thing,

it's just you and me and a phone that don't ring

popcorn popping on a lay around Friday night

Seeing you smile when I wake up

the way you say baby "It's all gonna be alright"

When i walk in at the end of a warned out day,

and I see you baby

how can i complain.

Cause I love what i do

love where Im at

and I love loving you.

Baby, I love loving you. "

"Love Loving You"

~Kenny Chesney

I'm sooo in the mood....

2005-12-14T11:42:00.000-08:00

Today was my first day off from subbing in a few weeks and my first day i got to go Christmas shopping at the mall. It was awesome because I love shopping. I love shopping for other people and I love shopping for myself. Unfortunatly since, i probably qualify for food stamps, there was no shopping for myself, and i am proud of myself for resisting. There is alot of cute stuff out there.

I got gooood sales.

Anyways, in a few short hours I managed to finish shopping for Rob's birthday gifts, and got my mom a super cute purple leather purse on major sale. Only my Dad, the Pink Torpedo exchange gift and Steph's gift for the family exchange are left.

Although i cant afford to get everyone EVERYTHING i want to, I am so in the mood for giving gifts now and shopping. Becky will need to restrain me in the apartment!

"It's beautiful under my tree"

2005-12-13T17:28:00.000-08:00

"I wish that Santa could be here to see, its beautiful under my tree"
Nsync ( the best xmas album EVER!)

Tonight Beck and I bought a Christmas tree. Its the second tree since our "coming out" of heterosexual life partnership, and that's just special.

We went to Holland to retrieve ornaments and decorations we had at our parents house and to get a tree there. I love getting my tree in Holland. After years of saying I never wanted to go back, there are some things that only feel right in Holland, tradition.

Well in typical Holland fashion, since it was dark and 7 pm, nothing was open. I forgot the town and my dad are on the same sleep schedule! The place we wanted to get it at was closed, dark and scary..so we ventured down the road...more scary and dark. We decided to pull into a driveway that had trees and a tiny tiny light in the back. Rock on! Another van pulled in right after us.

The little chubby guy came out of the house and what seemed like hours in 2 degree temperatures, Beck and I analyzed the size, shape, "fatness", "prettyness", and "sadness" of each tree. The Dave Schwab side of me decided to make an appearance and I thought it was a great idea to stand a few up holding it myself and I nearly fell on top of it in the snow. Lucky tree. :) Then another one nearly fell on top of me. We walked back and forth analyzing and of course not agreeing and then we made out decision. She is beautiful.

Then "Lampoons Vacation" style, we had to drive all the way home with the tree sticking out the back of Becky's SUV , with the 2 degree wind hitting us and the dome light in the car on.

Rejoice the tree is laying in our driveway until Rob, my Dad or another man who happens upon our door to help us.

Attack of "The Mother"

2005-11-30T21:31:00.000-08:00

I want to like my mother. However more likely than not, during conversations, i end up day dreaming about hitting her with something very hard or running her over with my car. Of course, of course, of course I really dont want anything BAD to happen to the woman, she just drives out the worst side of me.

Thanksgiving begins Schwab Hurricane Season. The black months. From Thanksgiving to some time at the end of February seems to be the months when my mother feels it is fair game to make everyones lives a living hell. Mainly my father, my brother and myself. Mainly Me.Because I am 24. Because I am Happy. Because I am not her. Oh it has already started. When I called to say " Happy Thanksgiving" I should have known the drama would have begun even though i was out of state. Mother is on the other end of the phone, obviously had been crying, pretending she doesnt want to "ruin my time" by talking about it. YES that would be fantastic not to ruin my holidays for once! That seems all fine and dandy until you call me the next day stewing up some earth shaking sin my father has committed and ranting about it endlessly until i feel i might lose my mind.And then call me twice drunk pretending you are having a good time. Thanks for not ruining my time.

Thanksgiving has passed. We all got out alive another year. Currently, since their must be a lull in things to obsess about, mother is leaving nasty voicemail messages on my phone because I havent given her a Christmas list. Yes. A Christmas list. THINGS I WANT. And then since she isnt getting what she wants out of me, and apparently brother and father must be avoiding her, she is now renigging (yes, yes) on our agreement to help me pay for boyfriends christmas gift on her charge card until i can pay her back in a few weeks. Low.

So she was going on some tangent about me and then it somehow led to her being pissed off about something totally different, I felt myself breaking. I promise myself I am going to keep contol, but i always break, I want to throw big things at her, and I manage to calmly say " I guess I will just talk to you tomorrow, Sorry, bye" and I hang up. This is where I cry in my pillow for a few minutes, get really mad at her like i always do and then figure out what to do next.

Yes, my mother, can take something i am already stressed out and multiply by a million until I cant take it anymore and then top it off with a cherry in the form of feeling sorry for herself.

So here mother. Here is my christmas list.

1.) LEAVE ME THE HELL ALONE
2.) Peace without guilt
3.) A few days without your baggage.
4.) CHOCOLATE

Happy Holidays.

IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT!!

2005-11-30T16:47:00.000-08:00

Hello All! Its that time again!

AMY AND BECKY"S 2nd ANNUAL HOLIDAY BASH!!

We have tried to tell many of you in person but if not- here is some of the info, others will be announced soon!

When: December 27th ( its a Tuesday night!)

Probably around 7 ish

Be ready for a sassy hot time, as always!

Anyone can stay over! Bring yourself, friends, anyone who is fun!

TURKEY! Part 1

2005-11-24T12:35:00.000-08:00

Happy Thanksgiving Everyone! Rob and I arrived (finally!) in Minnesota yesterday morning very early. We needed to get out of the car. I felt bad because I may or may not have read one of the directions wrong and sent us out and beyond where we were suppose to be, that occurred somewhere around, hmm lets see hour # 16, of being in the steadfast Alero. Needless to say when i woke Jess up at 4 am to ask where in the !@#$%%^^ we were she calmly said " oh Ame dont worry you are so close to Mankato" THANKGOD. However so close meant another hour and some minutes and Rob and I were about to play survival of the fittest in the car and someone was gonna get pushed out onto the side of the road. Sidenote: At that point i would have won!However he is an excellent co-pilot. But when the snacks started to run out and the tired phase set in, I lost him. Soldier down.

The majority of the trip was smooth sailing. We actually couldnt believe how easy it was, we were crusin, jamming out to our cds, having some interesting conversations, snacking. Then the Ohio Turnpike appoach. One of the most boring stretches of land, we thought we would ever come across, more came later. Anyhoo, the Ohio Turnpike hmmm...lets just say, Turnpike= want to jump on your boyfriend very badly even thought huge semi trucks are flying past you. Enough said.

Moving on, more smooth sailing, stopped at a few rest stops. I learned that when tense driving conditions arise and Rob want to be mean and yell at me the only thing he can think of is to yell "EAT MY SHORTS" which then sets me into a giggling fest uncontollably. Who says that.

Got called a bitch when Rob decided he wanted to get a little more comfortable and remove some underpieces of clothing and begain beeping so all the truckers would look down as they drove past and see him mid-change. That was also HILARIOUS! It was worth the swearing!! HA!

Chicago was beautiful to drive straight though the city on the Skyway at midnight. I loved the lights and the tall buildings. Rob was driving at this point so i could really admire the city. I want to go there.

Rob say Notre Dame and got excited.

Then the long, end of the earth, road trek began. 70 MPR, endless endless endless straight road. Hours. Hell.

But needless to say we survived. It was fun. We are having fun with Jess now and I just stuffed a turkey! Yeah baby! His name is Tomas.

There should be a warning label on this

2005-11-17T23:28:00.000-08:00

Yesterday we got hit with a ton of snow. I didnt even know until Rob and I decided to go get a movie and some snacks and WHOA my car is C-O-V-E-R-E-D in snow. Covered like " need dig out the snow brush and brush off the car" covered. O f course I responded automatically with my typical " UGH, GRR. How many snow banks am I going to visit this year?, It's freaking cold out here" thoughts. We drove around getting our goods at Blockbuster and Wegmans. Running, sliding in snow, I managed to dodge a few snow balls and get hit in the back with a hard ice ball..NICE. By the end of our mini movie/snack adventure I was getting excited about the first snowfall of the year and how much snow was actually falling.

When Rob and I were watching the movie the snow was so bright it was shining through the window into the dark room and it gave it that middle of winter, hot cocoa, Christmas tingly feeling. I was so happy. I had never been so happy to see the snow falling and I knew when I looked over at the boy next to me and he kissed the top of my head, that he was the reason I suddenly loved snow.

Love: There should totally be a warning label on this.

Choices

2005-11-15T14:36:00.000-08:00

"Nobody gets to live life backwards. Look ahead--that's where your future lies."

Preparing for a road trip!

2005-11-09T13:10:00.000-08:00

IN 1 week and 6 days, Rob and I will be venturing out into the great unknown, other wise known as Minnesota, land of the 10,000 lakes ( last time i was there I saw zero lakes, i dont even think i saw a pond-what evs). We have been planning this trip for Thanksgiving since like July when Jess came to visit in the summer. I am super excited for many reasons:

I love Jess.
I love roadtrips
I love Thanksgiving
I love making Rob sit next to me for 17 hours in a row. hee hee

My life being the way it is, not normal, road trips are always an interesting adventure. I think that is why I love them so. It is only right that I warn Rob about my former roadtrip journeys so he knows what exactly he is getting into. HA

Exhibit One:

Car: My SWEEEET white berretta

Moe, Amanda and I drive to NYC/New Jersey, none of us have ever driven to NYC.

Picture Amanda and I in the front, me driving, Aman being an excellent co-pilot. Moe in the back seat reading her romance novel, listening to the Boston Pops on her BLARING headphones. For awhile it went smooth, we were excited and we had snacks, The rush hour hit, we got confused on which bridge to take, got stuck in a traffic jam for about 3 hours, and got beeped at by angry NYC drivers about 500 times, here is where we learned things to yell to stop the beeping. We basically almost peed our pants from laughter and Aman and I almost threw Moe out the car. YOU HAVE NO IDEA what it is like to listen to Boston Pops music coming from the backseat for 8 hours! Then we got over the correct bridge and got lost in Newark, which can be a scary place esp if you dont know where you are going. Since Aman was the passenger/director she got the lucky job of getting out of the car 10 times and pretending we werent too lost, but we really needed to know where we were going.

Trip time: 8 hours, suppose to be 6 hours.

Way Home: Car died 1 hour after we reached my drive way in Holland. HA!

Exhibit Dos:

Car: My super SWEEET white berretta

Amanda and I drove white beauty up to Long Point, Canada to meet the other girls at our camp site on the beach.

We left Holland with my small 2 door car JAM packed with camping equiptment and additional supplies we would never use at a campground.

We first got lost at the Peace Bridge. That was a minor set back.

Back on the road we noticed a good way into Canada that my car was overheating and quite quickly. Being me, I decided we would ignore this discovery and crank the heat up to regulate the temperature (As Amanda suggested). Keep in mind it was already 90 degrees out and sunny. We proceeded to get lost because the directions were a little off due to construction and detours. The car was practically on fire in about another hour so we decided to stop at a little gas station where a nice old man tried to help my car cool down. It worked and got us to the camp site where we camped happily for 3 days!

Way home: About a half hour down the road on the way home. My car smoked, my car choked, white beauty was very sick. One of the 15 people who stopped to help us 5 stranded girls onthe side of the road said it might be the radiator. (OHHHH ) After that alll the other people made the face like they just saw a hurt small animal, when I said "think it is the radiator" Ohhh!! . Had to get it towed, some nice Canadians fixed it up good enough to make it back to the states where my Dad could get it back to normal.

We shall see what adventures this road trip brings, but I feel it is only necessary and responsible to follow Katie's rules for a roadtrip which she recently posted on her blog after a road trip to Ohio with Connie. http://justmekatie.blogspot.com/

My favorite rule, especially since Rob will be reading me the directions most of the way:

#4. if you are not 100% sure of how to get where your going, do not distract you navigator (Connie) by talking about cock.

Thanks Kate!

Mmm...

2005-11-08T16:50:00.000-08:00

This is where I want to be today.

I have been stuck doing my research project in the lame library for most of the day. I have also had a craving for cupcakes, cookies, sweets today. Cheesecake. The best place on earth for cheesecake is here. Juniors in Brooklyn. OMIGOD. Strawberry, cherry, CHOCOLATE. I ate so much when I lived across the street, and every single person who came to visit got to experience it. ORGASM. I want it today.

Not once, not twice, but THREE times..SUCKA!!

2005-11-05T20:07:00.000-08:00

I kicked Rob's ass (cute ass) at darts on Wednesday night at "Coochies and Johnsons". It started off like any other Amy- Rob competition: TOTAL Rob domination. But I put my game face on and BAM. Beat him 3 times. So out of 5 times I won 3. Beautiful ratio! It was not an easy task I had to pull out the big guns. I had to focus and think of unpleasant things and people ( That wasn't the difficult part :)

Next, since I am not above using every tactic possible to win, I had to accidentally drop the darts a few times, and make sure he had a front row view..well you know. Yes I am very, very low.

Next, applemartinis...oooh after 2 and I can hit a Bulls-Eye from the parking lot.. For some reason I am a much better dart player drunk. Must be from alot of practice, as some people know. :)

Lastly, I had to be "no more Mrs. Nice Girl". No cute talking, or touching. WIN WIN!! I even had the throw the darts on the table a few times for effect! Hee hee!

Hey mock me- but it worked. AND then he sunk as low to whisper to me in the midst of my celebrating and dancing around him I let you win. OH NO

NO YOU DIDNT! It is impossible for Rob to let anyone win a competition without him trying his best. It is normally rather cute, but a girl likes to win once and awhile.

I also beat him at the driving the racecar game a few weeks ago, but we wont go into that since he denied my winning, eventhough my screen said WINNER.

Bring it baby!

Suckage De Amy

2005-11-05T17:53:00.000-08:00

That's French- Amy speak for " I KNOW I suck" because I haven't blogged for so long. I guess I have been busy with my research thesis project, subbin for suburbia kiddos, hating the deli, and trying to have a semi-social life. Trying. The following are highlights that I may have missed in my absence in blogging:

Leah had a birthday! HAPPY BIRTHDAY HOTSTUFF!
Jean-9 had a birthday! HAPPY BIRTHDAY SEXY BITCH!
Bonding with Steph and her ex- Rick @ BSG
Having the lamest Halloween that I have ever had in my entire life ( watched "The Wedding Date" with Dermott Mulroney( "my almost cousin through marriage but not really at all but he knows Brad Pitt so we will pretend"). I watched it 3 times...and ate lots of Halloween candy while moping and being sick on the couch. Trick or Treat! Awesome.
Derek surprised Beck, with my supremo helpola, and is home from the Navy for about a week!
Rob made me soup ( yes this definitely deserves to be bulleted!!) He brought it to me in a Styrofoam cup. It was yummy soup and he made it from scratch when I was sick. I love him.

New Hair!

2005-10-19T19:56:00.000-07:00

My hair is now shoulder length and dark dark BROWN. Yeah! I love it! Becky says it's not as dark as she imagined, but everyone knows Amy needs to take change in baby steps- especially hair change. But i needed something new and it will satisfy this woman for a little while anyways! It is the first time I *colored ( thanks Rob) my hair and did not analyze and freak out for hours after. I am making progress.

* I would also like to acknowledge that Rob corrected me, that I should use the word colored instead of dyed, when referring to hair because colored is the proper term. THEN the hairdresser corrected me with the same statement! Oh how I love my metrosexual boyfriend!

So far Harmonie, Abby and Becky say they really like the 'do. Rob said he noticed it and something about it looking nice and dark ( yes we will take that as a compliment). The rest of you will have to wait and see my new sassiness!

"Are you somebody's mom?"

2005-10-17T23:03:00.000-07:00

Today when I was subbing I had to work in a bunch of different rooms because alot of teachers were out and all over the place. When I walked into the First Grade room the kiddos were in the middle of working on centers. I circulated around joking with some of the students and seeing what they were working on. I talked to the teacher before she left and then talked to some more kids. Just then a small squeaky voice yelled from a small round table:

"Are you somebody's mom?!"

Pasta Bowl: "You Hurt My Feelings"

2005-10-17T22:49:00.000-07:00

Everyone knows the Pasta Bowl, limited time offer, special is one of my favvvorite things on this planet. When Becky told me she saw the commercial for it like a month ago, my body did a weird jump, twist movement I am certain I could not do again if I tried!

After Rob's rugby game( they won!) Becky, Rob and I decided to wait an hour in the car just to partake in the last day of the celebrated "Pasta Bowl". Rob's leg was falling off practically, Becky's stomach hurt and I was very hungry and sleepy - we just wanted our food!

We had a kick ass waiter who knew kept the bread sticks coming and the drinks filled and didn't give me the weird "you mean you want another bowl of pasta" look. They changed some of the sauces and that irritated me. I had a meatball to ease the pain, the sun came out for a bit. Still it just wasnt pasta-fabulous.

A few hours later all 3 of us were clutching our stomachs in pain and we couldnt even drink alcohol properly.

I am sorry pasta bowl- you've lost that lovin feeling...

I am going to St. John for the weekend!

2005-10-12T22:11:00.000-07:00

No i am not. But in my fantasy trip I planned it will be fabulous. Rob and I leave on Friday and return Monday evening. We have a grande hotel suite on the beach with a patio over looking the ocean.

I spent way too much unsolicited time in the college library tonight. I have blogged, stalked people on instant messanger, checked every horoscope of people I know, dabbled in some homework, wandered around, annoyed Rob, whispered a conversation about infidelity to Jess, and soo much more. Rob and I are also day-tripping to Boston and then having an extended stay in Hawaii, for 2 long weeks.

Send you a postcard!

( I am a really super girlfriend)

The Cat Lady

2005-10-12T17:52:00.000-07:00

I didn't really notice it at first. Then I was surrounded.

Today I subbed for 6th grade. It was a normal substitute teaching morning, I got to the classroom put my stuff down, looked around a little bit and read the plans that the teacher had left for me. The kids came in, and i was busy taking care of business like attendance, bus slips, absent notes, and crazy strange 6th grade comments. First period started and I still didnt notice anything because I working with some kids on subjects and predicates and grammar stuff that I really would prefer never to see again. 2nd period was my "planning period" aka nothing to do for a sub.

I was at the teacher desk and I began to notice what was around me. Cats. Cats. Cats. To the right: posters of cats with cheesy inspirational sayings covered the wall. To the left: basically a shrine to Garfield. Behind me: small, random, cut out pictures of cats, kittens, all kinds with student names written underneath them ( not really sure of the significance there). Then I saw it. On the desk, a furry cat figurine with weird eyes. It was looking at me. After about 5 minutes of sitting at cat woman's desk I had to turn the cat figurine around because it was freakin me out!

I noticed that this teacher's name plate said Ms. Ahah!

I realized this is my worst nightmare. I am sitting at a desk of a woman who is married to her cats, she loves them. Ew!

Yes, Becky knew what I was thinking and sent me a text message informing me that " I wouldnt turn into this woman, I would have dogs". Thanks. Hee hee

I couldnt focus the rest of the day when I was at the desk. It was Cat Crazy. Did i mention i hate cats.

Happy National Coming Out Day, Ladies!

2005-10-11T23:43:00.000-07:00

Yes. These are the kinds of messages I get from my best friends! However, it is National Coming Out Day and if I was going to become a lesbian I cant think of people I would rather be lesbians with. Thanks Jess.

Anne is home from Cali for a few days so P.T girls and I, minus Jess, got to spend some much needed catching up time. Anne wanted Anchor Bar since she is deprived of real chicken wings out west. Of course we spend too much time analyzing what to order, ordering way too much and loving it. Interrupting each other about random gossip we "forgot to tell" last time we chatted, screaming with laughter everytime something hilarious happens. Dishing about new guys, old guys, and guys we havent seen since about since 6th grade (oh Ryan). Making fun of the latest nuptials and getting milk shakes on the way home ( as if the massive amounts of food at the restaurant wasn't enough!)

I love my girlfriends. We have been together since Middle School. They are still making fun of me for things I did 10 years ago and 10 minutes ago, but they also support me unconditionally. Who couldn't love friends who could sit around a table with you for 4 hours and watch you eat and eat chicken fingers and milkshakes and then say " I was gonna say, you look like you lost weight." ? That is true friendship. Isnt it!?!

Anne is the mysterious, quiet, genius, silly one. It took us about 3 hours of girl talk to pry out of her that yes she is seeing a new guy (Dan- yeah! But this is not a jinx, this is a non-jinx). THEN once we got the name out of her, another half hour of her dodging our questions about the nitty gritty. He is cute. See.

We had a fun night. My stomach still hurts from laughing.

Never a dull moment. Then, Jess im's me with this brand new discovery!

http://www.thesurrealist.co.uk/slogan.cgi?word=Gonter

Ha! Just put any name in and you have endless amounts of fun..hee hee. Its amusing....admit it!

http://www.thesurrealist.co.uk/slogan.cgi?word=Schwab Amen!

http://www.thesurrealist.co.uk/slogan.cgi?word=Schwab Yes! Yes! Yes! Hee hee

Sweet Nothings

2005-10-11T21:48:00.000-07:00

My new favorite sound is the sound of my text message alert. Crazy? Yes. Rob sends me the most amazing text messages during the day. I look forward to them. I get giddy after I read them. In the morning they wake me up telling me he is on his way home from work and that he loves me. In the afternoon they come when i am substitute teaching, saying cute things he is thinking about me. At night they say sweet nothings about how he cant wait to hold me and see me again. Its an amazing feeling knowing that he is thinking of me and cant wait to tell me so. I am sappy i know, i cant help it. :)

I LOVE MOE

2005-10-06T23:40:00.000-07:00

There you made the Blog! I love you Moe- money, lil mo mo, stabuchi driving LFK!

Feel Better Flix

2005-10-06T23:18:00.000-07:00

When I got home tonight at 11, The Wedding Planner was on TBS. It was just what I needed to watch to feel better about some feelings I may or may not have been feeling about certain things. I heart The Wedding Planner. In out apartment we have 3 copies of it. 1 VHS and 2 DVDs. I believe this was an accident or coincidence, but it gives you the idea of the impact it has on 2, 20-something girls. I have watched it too many times to count- each and every time it makes me feel happy and hopeful and all "happily ever after-esque". The part when he takes care of her and roasts marshmallows in her living room and then leaves, but comes back and says the thing about knowing the curve of her face and gold in her eyes..omigod. Plus, Matthew McConaughey is super hot.

There are only a few other movies that have this same impact on me.

American President
2 Weeks Notice
Foot Loose
Dirty Dancing
Reality Bites
Love Actually

Don't mock me. They work.

Gossip..

2005-10-03T22:45:00.000-07:00

Its nice to know that some things never change. Tonight I missed a call on my cell, and when I checked I saw that it was from Jane. That is very random since basically Jane and I have not really hung out or chatted since Freshman year of college, maybe even High School. But i recently ran into her out and we exchanged numbers.

Anyways, after i listened to her message I laughed and immediately told Becky. The message went as follows:

"Hi Amy! I know this is weird, but i am sitting in a coffee shop studying and I needed to tell you that i just ran into *Darlene. She came over to my table and talked to me for like 20 minutes. I just needed to tell you!"

* Names changed to protect the innocent (figure it out) hee hee

It is so funny that no matter where we go, what we do, who we sleep with....how long it takes for us to talk again....when some things happen it's like we are right back in the high school cafeteria again. It totally made my night.

TEQUILA!

2005-10-03T22:04:00.000-07:00

Finally they wrote a country song about me: "Tequilla makes her clothes fall off", I heard it en route to Tops from subbing for Kindergarteners, ironically. It made me happy, and instantly I wanted a Margarita.

I am working a bagillion hours this week.67 to be exact, plus I have some kind of project due- which I have not started yet. Looked at it. Left it there. Havent seen it since. I will need a Margarita soon. I will need a few Margaritas soon. I will need a Margarita night soon.

On to very very very EXCITING news! JESS IS WRITING A CHILDRENS BOOK! A publisher asked her to write a book about geography! I don't think it is possible for me to be more proud of her. She is amazing and it makes me uber excited to think that some day I will have one of Jess's books on my shelf in my classroom! I can see it now: "Yes class we are reading this book again!" We will read it everyday... hee hee. And she knows she is totally booked for career day every year, and she will do it with a smile.

WHAT THE !@#%$%^&*

2005-09-30T23:30:00.000-07:00

Ok! If you are reading this I would like you to kindly refer to the comment from the post "Wrapped Up in Cuteness". (Do this now!)

Excuse me! What is Cad Drafting????!!!!??

First of all, I hate these spam people making comments.

Second of all, WHAT THE !@#$%^&* IS Cad Drafting?

Third of all, I hate the word Cad because it is in the same family as the word Cod, and they sound very similar, so this bothers me! I hate the word Cod. It sounds perverted. I have never liked it. Plus, It is a fish. I like fish, but not for consumption. I dont even know if people eat cod. I think somewhere, someone does. Jess likes to torment me with the word because she knows it gives me the "heebies". She will slip it into conversation and then pee her pants laughing when i stop in mid sentence and scream.

SO SPAM PEOPLE! STOP COMMENTING ON ME! I KNOW I AM FABULOUS, BUT TAKE YOUR CAD SOMEPLACE ELSE!!

Another Phrase Not To Be Used In My Presence

2005-09-30T16:03:00.000-07:00

"Smacking the Sausage"

Thank you very much.

Rolled Up In Cuteness

2005-09-30T13:47:00.000-07:00

I just looked back from my checking email and blog readings and I see Rob curled up to his chin, in his 3 thin sheets he calls blankets. He is wrapped so tight he is like a nicely wrapped present, with a little smile on his face. He is not snoring. It is more like purring.

Cute.

Wedding Mayhem

2005-09-29T17:16:00.000-07:00

Today I ventured off to David's Bridal for my "maid of honor" dress fitting. It seriously took like 3 seconds because they had my size and it fit almost perfect. Here's hoping to not gaining weight or losing it in the next 10 months! Yes, 10 whole months away! That's another story..Sidenote: If I lose weight it will be perfectly ok in my book. Anyways I was avoiding the fitting because I didn't really want to go myself- it could be so much more fun going with actual people in the wedding. Hmm perhaps the BRIDE. Once I got there tho and they figured out who I was and who the bride was and what dress went with which girl, it was fun. I really enjoy trying on clothes, especially pretty pretty dresses. Kudos to the bride for picking a beautiful dress for me and all the girls..it will be fun to wear on the big day. I especially like my little flower on the waist, but that's just me. :)

Once my 3 second fitting was finished I could have left David's Bridal. But can any girl find herself in this store and not be forced to look around? Dont think so. So me being a girl who loves dresses found myself surrounding bythe beautiful white wedding dresses and feeling like I was 10 years old again dreaming about getting married. I tried to blend in and I kept praying that one of the annoying sales ladies wouldnt stop me and ask me "So when's the date?" I didnt want to have to say. "Uhm. Just looking!" hee hee.

After a few minutes of daydreaming I started to feel unusually happy and weird so I left, called Jess from the parking lot and went to Starbucks.

Ouch!

2005-09-28T21:43:00.000-07:00

I have a gash on my knee. It is actually smaller than a penny but it is exposed (so it looks much worse).You would feel bad if you saw it. You really would!! It hurts because since it is exposed I keep bumping it on everything. Makes sense...It is a catch 22. I cannot disclose how the gash came about, I am not at liberty to say. However alcohol and a car ( not in motion) were involved. However Syndney Bristow on Alias would have been proud.The following were reactions after a few found out about the "gash on the knee" story..."Amy!", "Thats gross dont talk to me!", "Ha ha ha, that was hot.."

Mountaineer out...

A tear in my beer, but in a good way...

2005-09-27T23:02:00.000-07:00

I have a wonderful boyfriend. He is smart and funny. He comforts me and brings out the best in me. He is super. I know I am a lucky girl. It took me 24 years and treading through some not so wonderful ones to know this.

Last night at the Steer, Mr. Wonderful and myself went out for some Monday night football *action*, cheap wings, and drinky. We were discussing how our relationship came about, over football announcers and strange boys who ate chicken wings with ketchup (sin!) In response to something we were talking about, he stopped eating. He looked at me and said
"Do you want to know the truth? I don't plan on ever having another girlfriend."

I had to look away. I almost shed a tear right there on the bar stool with my Coors Light in hand.

This is a test...

2005-09-27T13:05:00.000-07:00

"This life has been a test. If it had been an actual life, you would have received actual instructions on where to go and what to do." ~ My So Called Life

My life is like a television show. Sometimes a drama but usually a comedy. My friends and I always say " If someone followed us around with a video camera..." Well, it would be alot like a combination of Seinfeld, Sex and the City bloopers, Golden Girls and Will and Grace.

The other day I was driving on the 33 and i almost had to pull over the car. Something made me remember the time Jess and I were in the mall food court and I was attacked, and i do no use the word loosely, by a small child in a wheel chair while walking with my Arby's lunch. I was walking anticipating my beef n cheddar, when BAM a small yet ferocious hand swooped onto my tray and snatched up my fries and sent the rest of my lunch flying. I stood there scared. Jess almost peed. Yes these things happen to me!

in my *sparkly* shoes...