Dum dum dum dum.....

This past weekend, Beck and Derek got engaged. Its a bit of a surreal experience for the onlooker because its hard to believe we are at this "place". Its awesome. No doubt I am excited for Beck and know that they are right for one another. Still. Arent we 12 years old? It definitely doesn't feel like its real. When Michelle and Aaron got engaged we all had been expecting it since 9th grade, but I recall all 5 of us ( the P.T.'S) banding together to survive this one without one of us suffering from a meltdown. Then Amanda and Jay, it is exciting and scary to think my very first roomie, a roommate of 4 years will be a married woman this summer. There will definitely be some deep breaths to survive standing up in Aman's wedding without feeling some anxiety.


Its been exciting already, Beck walking around with this beautiful ring on her left hand, potentially making plans for what her wedding will be like. In the next year our apartment will turn into wedding central.

Every time I cash out in a grocery store I want to buy all the wedding magazines and spread them out on the living room floor.

Penis!

Today I had another moment when I realized my life is just funny.

At Tops, for some reason, I had to squish and manuever myself into a weird ( and very gross) storage space in the back of the supermarket where they keep all the stuff i never want to use: garbage bags, strange smelling cleaners, dewey floors, old mops, etc... At this point of the night I was not in an awesome mood, people were pissing me off and I was ina smelly gross space thinking why why why is this my life. I have a college degree! Almost 2! And i am flinging my legs over cleaning machines and mops and walking through gross substances! WHY WHY WHY! Why is this my life? Then I found what i was looking for, grabbed it and as I turned to try to get myself out of this hole I saw on the wall, written very large and in dark drak marker the word PENIS.

I laughed outloud and thought: Yep, this is totally my life.

When was the last time you were paralyzed by fear, had your butt fall asleep, and cried in public all in the same building?

Mine was yesterday. Saturday was girls day. I got out of work at noon so I headed to the mall with Jess and Beck for some much needed girly time and bra/panty shopping. We were later joined by Steph and Jeff to hang in the apartment to watch Save the Last Dance on TBS, and discuss past boyfriends and possible new "whatevers". Hee hee.

Then it was time to head to the movie theatre, none of us have ever attended- it was cute, it was artsy, it was the only place that was showing Brokeback Mountain in this entire city. We were standing in our pod circle of 5 in the entrance of the theatre just waiting with the rest of the people to get seated.

Thats when i involuntarily clutched Jess's arm, and got the omigod nobody move look on my face. I whispered " fmkdhgjfhdfkaj is here". Just as I was whispering, Steph noticed too. I think, SURPRISINGLY, we all handled the kfgjghfakfkj sighting pretty well since she freaks the living crap out of all 5 of us. 1 of us didnt even attend the same high school. We stood bundled together like it was a blizzard inside the theatre. We all diverted our eyes to the center of our pod. I saw her notice us and take two, yes really, two large stretched out steps back, and then it is all a blur. I may have blacked out standing up. All i know is that when i looked again, djshdjshfgjshfhjs was gone. Dodged a bullet. Ha literally!

Brokeback Mountain was exactly what we all needed. I love going to the movies knowing I will really like a movie and leave really liking the movie, which lately is rare.

I cried in my small , plastic seat. I am pretty sure most people in the theatre did. I heard sniffles! I almost cried again when we were disussing it in the car on the way home.

This morning when I was at work, preparing salads at an ungodly hour, i still felt a little sad. Pathetic? Yes. But what can i say: just a hopeless romantic.

P.S. aside from the sad, dramatic, touching aspect of Brokeback Mountain, I cannot leave out the fact that on top of being emotional, I am also extemely shallow and there are many many many hot scenes with Heath Ledger and Jake Gdjkshjfhdfhfgvhbfnbg. Many. Ok like basically like every scene they are in . The jeans, the cowboy hats, the swaggering...OMG.

A fork in the road

Lately I have been sensing I need to get back some of my old habits to get back to "Amy" and I need to lose some habits I have adapted over the last year. Lately I have been thinking about where the next year will lead me and what changes will come about. I pretty much know it is impossible to try and tell the future, but I feel like I am at a turning point. This year I finish my Masters Degree which means I need to get a full time teaching job. Where will I go? Do i stay here and try to find a job? Will i find a job and happiness in another town or state? I wouldnt mind staying here by some friends and family and I also wouldnt mind moving somewhere new and excited. Yes the latter is more involved and would take more planning but is it worth it? Would a new place lead me to new happiness or would it mean running away from things here? Time will only tell I guess...

Helloooo 2006!

Happy New Year!!

I cannot believe it has been one whole year since I was standing in the middle of Coles on Elmwood with 5 of my fabulous girls ringing in 2005. I was "5ish" lbs thinner, substitute teacher-tops deli worker extraordinare-tutor, graduate student, wishing I was with a boy who would definitely fit under the category of " he's just not that into you". Happy celebrating with the girls who mean everything to me.

Things have changed in so many ways since then. In many ways 2005 was a rollercoaster of emotions and happenings that were happy and sad, many doors closed and many opened.

In 2005 I learned a lot about myself. Some good and some bad. I learned a lot about other people as well. Some good and some bad.

As I rang in 2006 with three of those 5 fabulous friends and a new fabulous boyfriend, 5 -ish lbs heavier, still a substitute -deli- tutor- almost finished with my thesis in grad school extraordinare, who has retired the "hes just not that into you" book, I looked back on 2005 and I also looked forward to 2006. How would things change this year? Where would it bring me?

Sitting on the couch in a bar downtown, surrounded by rugby men and my friends, AND a wonderfully large plate of cheese cubes and veggies, I was happy to be sitting on that couch with my wonderful friends and boyfriend drinking champagne and excited for the beginging of a new year. Thats all a girl with sparkly shoes can ask for...

Hit and Run

Last night I was a victim of a hit and run. A deer hit and run that is. The deer hit my drivers side back door and kept on running. Jess and I were driving merrily on our way home from watching "The Family Stone", on Transit Road we saw some deer on the side of the street, congregating, whatever...then BAM.

It all happened pretty fast and I pulled into a parking lot. Jess got out (I couldnt look first) to assess the damage. Not a scratch on my car, just a few stray hairs left behind on the window frame. Yikes. I may have cried a little bit when I got back in the car, when I saw the hair I felt some guilt and felt bad for the deer. But he OR she was a survivor, I can tell, and he OR she will live to tell the exciting story to their little Bambi's someday.

Jess comes home today!

Jess comes home today and this excited me very much! I still havent gotten use to the fact that all my best friends cannot live in the same town as me, so all is right again when everyone is home(Anne comes home next Wednesday, then Moe on Friday). Whoo hoo! There will be much discussing boys, drinking trendy drinks in fun glasses, more discussing of boys, watching the hot new gay cowboy movie with the HOTTIES, eating chocolate, dancing around, and being our crazy girl-selves.

Here is the latest pic of Jess with her new semi, quasi, havent really decided yet-conquest of a boy.